


throwback to the black nights that i used to devour

by meananimagus, snekidz_official



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-16
Updated: 2019-06-16
Packaged: 2020-05-12 21:52:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19237816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meananimagus/pseuds/meananimagus, https://archiveofourown.org/users/snekidz_official/pseuds/snekidz_official
Summary: it's a natural cycle of life; pain, happiness, pain, happiness.everything changes with time.everything is temporary.he knew about it. would he have expected his happiness would end just when he was starting to get used to it?





	throwback to the black nights that i used to devour

**Author's Note:**

> sequel of 'i saw you, then i wanted to see you again.'

"do you remember how we met?"

it took him a few seconds before nodding dumbly, too engrossed in watching and staring at the speckles of stars adorning the younger's cheeks.

the movie playing at the laid down laptop over the sheets in front of them have been long-forgotten, the faint soundtrack and silent voices coming from it serves as calm noises to fill up the absence of conversation between the couple.

minho always enjoyed nights like this with the freckled boy, just the two of them. felix seated on the bed, leaning backwards against the headrest while minho had his head laid over the younger's lap, harsh reality pushed aside at the back of their minds.

"you were a creep." felix huffed at that which elicited an amused chuckle from the older.

"i was not, i was an admirer."

thinking back, minho smiled, the nostalgia overwhelming him.

the cafe, the intersection, the first two words felix said to him as the younger appeared right in front of him.

"you're beautiful." a dangerous warmth crept along minho's neck up until his cheeks and ears, which caused felix to lean down and press kisses all over the crimson skin, leaving minho even more flustered.

"i can't believe i fell for those words." he scoffed, in an attempt to cover up his gay panic but felix wouldn't have that.

"come on, you called me beautiful too."

"i should've just stood you up when you asked me out on a date if i knew you were gonna be like this." voice filled with fondness, one hand coming up from behind to reach for felix's neck, pulling the younger closer to press their lips together.

一

a storm and a blackout, it couldn't sound more depressing as it is already. a lone candle being the only source of light inside the entire apartment, and a thick blanket protectively draped around his whole quivering body to fight the cold.

he has never felt so helpless and alone. to make the situation worse, his phone died right after the electricity went out. he's all by himself in the dark.

no, he's not afraid of the dark nor with the storm that is currently making a ruckus outside the walls of his flat. he's scared of being alone.

a lightning suddenly cracked followed by a boistering thunder making him whimper to himself, he's so close to crying and he felt pity for himself.

he scanned the living room in distress and his eyes landed upon a single framed polaroid photograph. he felt his irises burn and his nose went runny, throat blocked by something undetermined and he cant swallow, his breathing became troubled as an initial sob racked through his form.

it was inevitable, the panic attack, the surge of sadness, the breakdown. no matter how hard he tried to prevent any of those, he didn't succeed. it only took him a single picture to destroy the fake strength he had remaining.

一

"... and our first kiss."

minho remembered, he would never forget that very day he got to kiss felix's lips. how he proved to himself that he was right, felix's lips are soft, too soft, and they definitely doesn't fit any other lips than minho's own.

"you sneaked inside the staffroom to corner me while i was on my shift." felix slapped his arm, although it barely had an intention to hurt him so it was more of a  
soft touch. minho caught the younger's hand and slipped the fingers between his own, locking them in place above his pounding chest.

"i didn't sneak in, i asked chan for permission."

"since when were you close with my manager?" lifting their laced hands upwards until he can reach to place a soft kiss against felix's knuckles, causing an annoyed groan to slip past the younger's lips.

"don't distract me, i'm trying to remind you how terrible of a kisser you are."

felix wasn't lying, it was bad, a mess. but it was beautiful, in minho's opinion, at least. but he's pretty sure felix liked it despite his unrelenting denial.

"you startled me."

"i would accept that excuse until i tried to lean in for another kiss, and you know i was going to, but you stepped back again, and i apologized thinking you don't want to but you pulled me back towards you so i assumed i could go for it once more but when i did for the third time, you turned your head sideways that my lips landed onto your earlobe instead and it was awkward." minho grinned although his face started to resemble an overgrown tomato from embarrassment. felix, with a hand combing against the older's strands, pulled lightly on it.

"hey, i did make up for it and kissed you properly after."

"after i pulled away from you that i bumped into the boxes and stumbled back until i landed onto my ass, that hurt by the way."

minho offered a hand to the younger who's on the floor back then, only to get mesmerized by the lips that stole his attention when felix bit on it as he hesitated to accept the older's help. so instead of pulling felix to his feet when he held onto his hand, minho knelt down and pressed his lips to felix's, slightly parted, pair.

and minho was inexperienced, cons of being an introvert and for having no prior relationships. his mouth kept on sliding away from felix's and felix kept on chasing for them, until the younger just laughed and gave the stunned boy an amused peck before standing up and pulling minho with him.

一

the thunderstorm just stopped but the lights haven't been back yet and without the noise in the darkness, he felt solemn, with the drab of isolation overtaking every positive emotions he tried to fill his mind with. the silence not helping to calm down his thoughts and senses and he can hear his memories crashing down upon him.

the sound of alarming beeps and rushed footsteps, the panicked voices and clattering of equipments and everything was just so overwhelming and he's so sensitive to any sound but they won't stop, the noise is daunting and he's vulnerable.

he choked out a miserable sob, laced with an emotion that couldn't be mistaken as something else but fear.

too much.

too much.

he can't take it anymore.

too much.

"you're beautiful."

"no." he keeps on shaking his head, not accepting of what to happen.

"you're beautiful.."

"no!" he pressed both of his palms against his ears, his body trembling, he wants to stop hearing. wants all the voices gone.

"i love you."

一

"no!" the beeping noise from the heartbeat monitor resounding all over the hospital room, doctors and nurses rushing inside and minho doesn't know what's going on. fear crawled underneath his skin as his eyes went wide when felix's body trembled. someone pulled him and he was being pushed out of the room.

"sir, you're not allowed inside."

"no, felix needs me. let me stay!" he yells as tears stream down this face, the nurse shot him a pitiful look before closing the door to the face.

he fell onto his knees, hands gripping and pulling at his own hair. he feels like his entire life is falling apart right before his eyes and he's helpless, he can't do anything to save it from crumbling, to save himself from completely breaking. everything is slipping out of his own grasp that however he tightens his hold, they turn into nothingness and dissolve into air.

he can't lose felix. he can't lose the sole reason he hasn't given up on himself yet.

the door to the younger's hospital room opened and minho almost stumbled as he tried to stand up with shaking knees. he took in the doctor's sight and he can't. it was wrong. he sees an apologetic expression from the man and it makes him mad, it feels so wrong.

"i'm sorry, we tried everything we can."

he screamed, he yelled, he cried so loud that the doctor stood frozen in front of him.

felix is dead. and minho feels so dead.

felix was his everything and he lost him and it makes him so angry and broken, lost and devastated, his entirety was filled with nothing but dread and darkness.

felix is gone.

一

"do you remember how we met?" minho sat on the cold floor, face wet with tears that won't stop falling from his eyes, his lips trembled as he spoke to the man on the picture, his finger clutching tightly on the frame, the edges digging sharply against his palm but he paid them no mind. it was nothing compared to the pain that's squeezing within his chest.

"you barged into my life and broke down my walls so easily, felix. i didn't know you would take the exit and break me this easily, too."

his tears continued to fall, some of them landing down the glass surface protecting the picture.

"you were beautiful, so so beautiful. you still are and i'm utterly in love, you know that right?" his voice stuttering but his grip on the frame wouldn't loosen.

"and you should know that i'm going to be following behind you soon." he spoke with resolve, fighting the trembles that staggers his breathing.

"i promise i'd be with you soon."

he hated his fate, he hated felix's fate. he hated how their fates ended up and he doesn't regret tangling up his own with felix's.

it was beautiful and a tragedy but felix made it all worth it.


End file.
